


If Looks Could Kill

by ExiledDuke (PersonalSpin)



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen, I am so sorry, Spontaneous Combustion, crack!fic, only not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-10
Updated: 2012-09-10
Packaged: 2017-11-13 23:11:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/508739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PersonalSpin/pseuds/ExiledDuke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick Fury decides the Avengers need to be schooled on just who's in change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Looks Could Kill

**Author's Note:**

> What did I just write. In my defence though, Samuel L Jackson has a truly terrifying glare.

“Stark-“  
  
“No.”  
  
Fury pinched the bridge of his nose as if to ward off a headache, but Tony knew better, _common ailments_ knew better. “Stark,” he said through gritted teeth, “I am trying to be reasonable.”  
  
“That’s funny, because this sounds pretty unreasonable to me,” Tony bit back. He thought he heard a sigh from one of the others in the conference room, who’ve been stuck in this debriefing while he argued with Fury, though he can’t pinpoint who beyond the likelihood that it was Clint. He’d been glaring at Tony for the past five minutes without blinking, like he was imagining how many ways he could kill him with just the objects/people within reach. It was a little scary, considering Tony knew he knew many, _many_ ways, but then Clint really hated debriefings. About as much as Tony did actually, though he somehow never managed to get dragged into an argument at _every single one_.  
  
In Tony’s defence, he was doing this for the other Avengers, and not because he was in a bad mood because he’d been put through a building for the third time that week. They didn’t talk about that particular debriefing.  
  
“You can’t do this to us,” Tony continued, voice going up a pitch. “It’s unconscionable. Worse, it’s _unconstitutional_.” Fury didn’t look chagrined at being called un-American, crossing his arms as he instead chose to look unimpressed. Tony snapped his head around to glare at Steve, who hated these things but tried to pay attention anyway, the suck-up. “You,” he barked, and Steve’s hands went up in a defensive gesture and his face was a picture-perfect _who, me?_ “You’ve read it, I know you have; tell him it’s unconstitutional.”  
  
“I-“ he started, but withered under Fury’s glare.  
  
“Stark,” Fury said in warning, schooling his expression into something more neutral and still just as dangerous as he uncrossed his arms. “Don’t make me do something I’ll regret.”  
  
Tony usually knew better than to challenge people like Nick Fury, but he lifted his chin in a show of such clear defiance that he might as well have sprung up screaming _‘come at me bro!’_ He realised his mistake when Fury’s face twitched, barely disturbing the stony look, _and he reached for his eye patch._  
  
Tony had a single, horrified thought that Fury kept some terrible power hidden away under there, but the eye patch was flipped up and it’s almost anti-climactic. Beneath it, Fury had another perfectly normal-looking eye, though he looked faintly ridiculous now with his eye patch resting against his forehead like that. Tony must have made some sign of his disappointment - he was expecting glowing red and containing the horrors of Hell _at least_ \- because Fury turned to look at the potted plant in the corner of the room and proceeded to glare at it ferociously. It was the same glare he gave whenever someone royally fucked up, only twice as deadly now that he’s using both eyes; it wasn’t even directed at him and Tony felt uncomfortable, God knows how the plant must feel.  
  
He’s about to ask what kind of reaction he’s expected from the poor thing though, _when the plant bursts into flames_. The room went completely silent save for the merry crackling and the sound of six superheroes rubbernecking, and Fury didn’t let up his glare for a single second as the plant spontaneously combusted, until it had burnt to a brittle black that quickly collapsed into ash.  
  
There’s a deeply awkward moment of silence where nobody knew if they should say anything about the fact that _Nick Fury can literally kill with looks_ , when he turned back to the Avengers with a serene smile on his face. “Gentlemen,” he said calmly, flicking down his eye patch with an air reminiscent of concluding a demonstration.  
  
Tony tentatively raised a hand, not confident enough to attempt to speak without permission just then. He waited until Fury raised his brows in question, though he has to try not to flinch because even if the eye patch was back down again, it doesn’t do much to detract from the revelation that _Fury can set things on fire with the power of his hate_. “I would like to withdraw my objection,” he said, knowing he sounded a little shell shocked. “Please strike it from the records.”  
  
“Excellent,” Fury said cheerily, already striding to the door of the debriefing room. He paused in the doorway though, hand resting on the jamb, as he stared down each Avenger until they looked away. He saved Tony for last, and gave him a smile that showed all his teeth. Tony nodded, getting the message loud and clear, and Fury looked satisfied. “Get back to work,” he said, disappearing from view.  
  
Another beat of silence, and it could’ve been anyone who softly whispered, “ _holy shit._ ”


End file.
